Does hearing "sleep when the baby sleeps" make you feel like hitting something?

Sleep deprivation is an unfortunate reality of the first weeks/months postpartum; healthy newborns still have tiny tummies and wake frequently looking for a refill. No matter how much you love your baby, interrupted sleep is terribly unpleasant. Clinical Psychologist Dr. Shelby Harris shares some sleep hygiene tips on the Happy as a Mother podcast.

A goal? Protect a period of 4-6 hours for sleep to help restore your body and brain.

In the Evening

• Start a bedtime routine by incorporating something calming, relaxing, and enjoyable for yourself - maybe reading a chapter of a juicy book with predictable plot, stretching for 5 minutes, or having a hot cup of tea while your partner rubs your feet. I'm rooting for someone to manage that last one; nightly foot rubs just haven't taken off in my house.
• Have a target bedtime (don't beat yourself up if you don't hit it every night).

Overnight

Keep the lights dim and avoid your phone. If you are not tracking things like sleep/feeding/diaper information on your phone, consider putting it in a completely different room to avoid aimless scrolling temptation. Or, consider having a device near your bed that only has the app(s) you plan to use at night. If you plan to go back to work, this is a good habit to get into early so that you avoid responding to emails, ordering off Amazon, or swirling down Pinterest at 2am in the future.

To achieve the 4-6 hour goal

There is no perfect solution (and different families/couples have different needs), but having a (clearly communicated) plan across your grown-up team helps!

Here are 5 strategies we've heard from parents focused on intentionally increasing their sleeptime:

1. Split the Night: Partner takes 1-2 overnight feedings while breastfeeding mom get 4-6 hours of protected sleep. This involves some pumping prep, or an agreement to do a formula feed. Some couples "split the night" for who is on point by time - "I'll take 6p-midnight, you take midnight to 6a", for example.
2. Tag Team Tasks: One grown-up handles the diaper changing, the other handles feeding and resettling. Everyone is up, but not alone, and not for as long.
3. Divide the Night to Conquer the Day: One grown-up sleeps in a separate room overnight so that at least one of you can function. I've heard this as an effective strategy for familes with older kids; the partner who gets to sleep well at night is on point for taking the baby & managing older kids at other points in the day while the nighttime warrior naps.
4. Rotate: For non-breastfeeding families, implementing a rotating night schedule can mean that everyone sleeps well a few nights/week.
5. Outside Assist: Take all the help you can get! If you don't have a local or willing Grandma to help out at night, hiring a postpartum doula or night nurse is a great option to give you well-deserved, needed sleep. If you have someone who can come during the day to provide naps, take it! Perhaps that involves pumping a small bottle after a morning feed, or requesting that your support person changes the baby's diaper and plays with them for a bit before waking you after baby's morning nap. And, if that support person can help with other things around the house, all the better.