Common Childcare Challenges & How to Avoid Them

Getting a childcare solution set up that works for your family is a common challenge for new parents. Below we explore some of common struggles related to early childcare set up and managment with Wendy Sjaardema, the 2021 Nanny of the Year. Whether you’re expecting or already a parent, we hope Wendy’s insight will help you avoid common childcare pains.

Topics covered:

• Factors to determine the best childcare for your family
• Lead time to line up childcare
• Questions to ask before committing
• Managing the Math: Cost considerations
• Money Saving Tips
• What to do in a crunch
• Balancing being the employer and the parent

Where should I start to figure out the childcare solution for my family?

Schedule and budget are typically the largest determining factors.

For example, a family with variable work schedules like a physician or a firefighter will need a lot of flexibility in their childcare provider compared to a parent that works a standard 9-5 M-F. That need for flexibility likely will limit the family to either a nanny open to flexible work hours or a drop-in style childcare center or home daycare. Of those options, the next step would be looking at budgetary restrictions, as private nanny care is considerably more expensive than center-based care.

Once you have your schedule and budget parameters, consider your values and parenting style to determine the best fit. 

A parenting team that values personalized care, ability to drop in occasionally, one-on-one attention, exposure to local activities and outings and more control over daily schedules and activities will likely prefer a nanny while a parent who values socialization, predictable schedules and privacy within their own home may prefer center-based care.

Each family has unique needs and it’s important to address multiple areas to ensure you are happy with your final decision.

What’s the ideal lead time to line up full-time childcare? Does the lead time influence the options?

The more detailed the specific needs, the longer it will take to secure childcare. A good guideline is:

• 4-6 weeks ahead of time when considering a nanny with a regular, predictable schedule
• 6-8 weeks when looking for a home-daycare setting.
• Center-based care like daycares and preschools often have long waitlists, so check those out as soon as you know you will need a spot – in many areas, while or before you're expecting!

Add time to your search if:

• You have more specific needs, like needing flexibility in the schedule, part-time nanny care, nanny shares, travel support needs, budgetary restrictions, special needs children, etc.  
• You live in a larger market, like Denver, Chicago, Austin, New York City, San Francisco or Los Angeles - there is a lot more competition for childcare providers so those also may require more advance planning to ensure you secure the right childcare provider. When looking for a private caregiver like a nanny, often your candidate will be leaving another position and will want to give 2-4 weeks’ notice, so take that into account as well.

What should I ask before committing to a particular childcare provider? What are common issues?

1. Make sure you really understand your schedule and budget needs before you start your search! This will save you and your potential provider an enormous amount of time, as you can focus more time on interviewing and vetting candidates that are able and willing to meet your needs.

2. Think about your Communication styles. 

• If you prefer communicating by text and email, and like to leave little notes when ideas occur so you don’t forget, you won't jive well with a nanny who views notes and emails as passive aggressive.
• Similarly, if you are a parent team that values direct and straightforward communication, you won’t work well with a nanny who shies away from conflict.

These are important areas to address with your childcare provider beforehand to avoid resentment within the parent/caregiver relationship. And in any new relationship, expect that it will take some time and energy to make sure that communication is well established (and working for both parties). 

How can I navigate the high cost of childcare?

Many families expect that a nanny will be less expensive than a daycare or preschool and expect to have much more flexibility in situations like a sick child or a family vacation, which is not always the case. 

When looking at costs, the least expensive option is typically a home daycare, followed by a center-based daycare and then a preschool program. Private caregivers cost considerably more than daycares and preschools (depending on number of children). Au pairs have additional expenses like agency fees, cost of setting up a private bedroom, meals and a vehicle for their use. Nannies are covered by the FLSA and are entitled to minimum wage and overtime for every hour worked, and nanny employers are required to track their pay and submit related tax paperwork.

There are many families that choose to hire a nanny "under the table"; while this does often save money, it carries risk. You as the employer are liable for extensive fines, fees and even potential jail time if you are caught paying a nanny under the table. These positions unfairly target immigrants and persons of color, and perpetuate wage discrepancies for those caught in cycles of poverty.  

Some families find that their budget may only support one parent working until their children are school-aged, while others are able to find alternative solutions like a family member providing care, a remote position with flexibility within the workday, a trade of childcare services with another family or alternating work schedules between two parents so one is always available. There are also childcare centers dedicated to lower income families, though these often have long wait lists. Many companies now offer childcare services on site within their offices as an employee benefit, which is a great opportunity for working parents.

Some money saving tips (while caring well for caregivers): 

• There are year-end tax write-offs you can take advantage of, like the Child and Dependent Care Tax Credit
• Employers often offer childcare stipends that can be used towards centers or private caregivers, so make sure to talk to your employer to see if that is an option. 
• A Dependent Care FSA can save you up to $1500 per year.
• When employing a private caregiver, you can lower tax liabilities by offering tax-free reimbursements like healthcare benefits, dental and vision benefits, educational stipends and more.
• Some nannies will also be willing to take a lower hourly rate in exchange for other benefits like more paid time off, a gym membership, food stipend, or the ability to bring their own child and/or pet to work. There are plenty of creative options to consider!

I'm in a crunch and need childcare quickly! What can I do?

Do your research! Whether for a home daycare, private caregiver or center-based care, always make sure to fully vet your childcare provider before entrusting them with the safety of your child. The last thing you want is to rush into a decision out of desperation and be unhappy with the care provided, especially if you enter into a contract with them. It’s also important, if looking for a private caregiver like a nanny, to fully understand the responsibilities as an employer because many parents do not realize the legal requirements, which can be a very costly mistake down the line.

For anyone you are hiring, don't skip the interview or verification of past references & work history.

Any center based care should be able share their current licensing, have good reviews and don’t have a history of frequent turnover of employees or children.

Some options while you're looking could be: a temp service, drop-in center or a temporary nanny to allow you to take your time finding the perfect fit childcare provider.

How can I set up a strong relationship with my nanny or au pair - as the employer AND the parent? 

One of the most difficult parts of the caregiver/family relationship is learning how to set and respect boundaries, both for the parent and for the childcare provider. Working in a private household, it is so easy to blur the lines between professional and personal relationships. It is only natural, when working in such a private setting, that relationships grow past the point of a typical employer/employee relationship. It is common for private caregivers and parents alike to discuss wanting the relationship to be more like “one of the family” than a strict professional relationship.

However, there is a risk on both sides if there are not certain boundaries respected by all parties to keep the relationship professional. When employment relationships become too comfortable, it is common for both parties to take advantage of the other and addressing issues becomes more difficult. Either side could leave the arrangement at any time, leaving the other in a bind with a lot more heartbreak (for you, your caregiver, and your kids) than parting ways in a typical employment relationship.

So set professional boundaries early on and maintain effective communication throughout the contract. 

• This starts with the search process, where parents ensure that they know their needs and goals before they start the search. 
• The interview part of the process is a perfect time to talk about those goals and needs as well as bring up conversation about how to set and respect boundaries to ensure your childcare provider is on the same page.
• Have a detailed employment contract that places all of these points in an easily understood format for all parties to refer back to when those lines do get a bit blurry. 
• Schedule frequent check-ins (with formal check-ins at the one month, 3 month, and 6 month marks; then a bi-annual or annual review thereafter). Having a set time to check in with everyone helps avoid the build up of any frustrations to ensure a positive working relationship moving forward.  

About Wendy 

Wendy Sjaardema is a CACHE certified Newborn Care Specialist (NCS) with both Master® and Elite™ NCS qualifications and a seasoned Professional Nanny with over 20 years of private childcare experience, as well as the recipient of the International Nanny Association 2021 “Nanny of the Year” (NOTY) award. Over the course of her career, Wendy has provided hands-on care for more than 30 families and 40 children as an NCS and nanny, and has supported countless families, nannies, newborn care specialists, postpartum doulas and others within the private caregiving field as a consultant. She works closely within nanny networks, professional organizations and agencies and is passionate about supporting, training and coaching both caregivers and their employers in the private childcare industry. She has worked as administrator of the Denver Area Nanny Association for over 10 years, leading a group of over 2,000 local nannies.